Dick Whittington Pantomime Script by Alan P Frayn

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Funny, original, award-winning pantomime scripts
by Alan P Frayn
“I cannot remember using so many superlatives to describe one show” (The Stage)

“Exceptionally inventive – a panto that has everything!” (Amateur Stage Magazine)
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PANTOMIMES

Dick Whittington

From the sewers of London to the shores of Morocco, this cracking script overflows with comedy, action and visual business.


Get a head start on the others with this well-crafted, award winning script, offering the best of all worlds …diverse locations, exciting storyline, powerful characters and genuinely funny comedy!

With some up-to-the-minute twists and turns along the way, the story features all the usual traditional roles, including the best tongue-in-cheek baddie in the business, King Rat.  With an exceptionally busy Chorus, the script also includes plenty of knockabout fun, courtesy of comic Captain Cuttlefish and his ludicrous sidekick, Scupper, creating chaos in their wake.

The staging can be fairly straightforward but there is plenty of scope for the more ambitious, including a fascinating ultra-violet scene (optional).  The exceptional comedy content – visual, verbal, slapstick and business – makes for one of the strongest and most laughter-packed productions achievable!

Full cast and scenery requirements are listed below

Many productions of this script have won NODA and drama federation awards, including Kinver Light Operatic Society, Woodlands Theatrical Society, Richings Players and The Riverside Players, Devon (all of whom won NODA “Best Pantomime” awards)!

We also offer a “potted panto” (one act) version of this script.  Please contact us for a reading copy, if interested.

"...This show ticks both the entertainment and traditional boxes.  It also ticks the box marked 'fun'.  It's not far off a laugh-a-minute show and at times the grins, chuckles and guffaws come even quicker than that!”  (Huddersfield Daily Examiner)
dick whittington
Talisman Theatre Co © Peter Weston
dick whittington
Paignton Pantomime Productions
EXCERPT from Act I Scene 4: Down in the Sewers  © Alan P Frayn

 (The CAPTAIN and SCUPPER enter DSR, each carrying a crate of rat poison.)
CAPTAIN:I told you we'd get lost if we came this way.
SCUPPER:But it's a shortcut to the ship.
CAPTAIN:We haven't got time to take one of your shortcuts!
SCUPPER:But it must come out at the Docks sooner or later.
CAPTAIN:And what if there's a grill at the end of the tunnel?
SCUPPER:Oh, that would be nice - I'll have egg and chips please!
 (KING RAT suddenly springs out from DSL, making the OTHER 2 jump.)
KING RAT:Can I be of assistance, gentlemen?
CAPTAIN:Ooh!  It's a rat!
KING RAT:Not just any old rat - the King of the London sewers.
SCUPPER:I thought they'd got rid of all the vermin.
KING RAT:On the contrary!  What with global warming and fortnightly bin collections …
CAPTAIN:And what do you do down here?  Sort out the thick from the thin?
KING RAT:Far from it!  Sewage is big business nowadays.
SCUPPER:Well, as long as you don't take your work home with you!
KING RAT:It's recycling, you see.
CAPTAIN:Recycling?  Into what?
KING RAT:Furniture, mainly.  Fancy a second-hand stool?
SCUPPER:No thanks!
KING RAT:How about a chocolate brownie?
CAPTAIN:
Definitely not!
KING RAT:Or we do a nice line in ratchet screwdrivers!
SCUPPER:(Making the pun clear) Rat-chit screwdrivers? … Err - I see what you mean!
KING RAT:And we recycle all the paper too.
CAPTAIN:Pooh!  I hope they don't wrap my fish and chips in it!
KING RAT:Oh, no - we print the Rat Times on it.
SCUPPER:All this industry down here and we thought you were just going through the motions!
CAPTAIN:Well, they say, "Where there's muck there's money"!
KING RAT:Yes, I have to admit - I do feel a bit flushed!
SCUPPER:But what about the smell?
KING RAT:Well, it does have its advantages. You can break wind and get away with it!
 (The OTHER 2 waft their hands under their noses.)
KING RAT:(More seriously) Now, what's that you've got there?
CAPTAIN:Oh, it's just some rat poison we're taking to Alderman Fitzwarren's ship, for Morocco.
KING RAT:(Aside, to audience:) I must warn our cousins over there - the Desert Rats!
SCUPPER:So, could you show us the way to the Docks?
KING RAT:Course I can.
CAPTAIN:I bet he's got Rat-Nav!
Characters
DICK WHITTINGTON: Ambitious, honest young man. (Can either be played by male, or female as Principal Boy)
THE ALDERMAN: Good natured, sea-faring merchant. (Male)
ALICE: The Alderman’s daughter. (Principal Girl)
DOLLY DUMPLING: Pantomime Dame, the Alderman’s cook. (Obviously, best played by a man)
IDLE JACK: Dolly’s daft, lazy son. (Probably male, but could be played by female)
CAPTAIN CUTTLEFISH: An odd-ball sea captain. (Usually male, but could be played by female)
SCUPPER: The Captain’s idiotic mate. (Male or female)
TOM: Dick’s “cool” cat, a small speaking part. (Male, but could be played by female)
KING or QUEEN RAT: Our tongue-in-cheek baddie. (Male or female)
FAIRY BOWBELLS: Good Fairy character. (Female)
SULTAN or SULTANA: The Sultan of Morocco. (Male or female)
CHORUS: Londoners
Beefeaters
Sailors
The Sultan’s Slaves/Attendants
DANCERS: Featured in musical numbers as desired. Also perform the optional ultra‑violet scene.
THE 4 RATLINGS: 4 young Dancers or Chorus also play small non-speaking “Ratlings”.
Scenes  (Notes on simplified scenery are also included in the script)
ACT I  
Prologue: A Rat’s Tale (Front cloth, DS gauze or front of Tabs)
Scene 1 : Olde London Town (Full stage London exterior scene)
Scene 2 : Highgate Hill (Front cloth, gauze or MS Tabs, with milestone)
Scene 3 : Fitzwarren’s Store (Full stage shop interior scene)
Scene 4 : Down in the Sewers (Front of Tabs or front cloth)
Scene 5 : Later, Inside the Store (Full stage. As Act I Scene 3)
Scene 6 : A London Street (Front of Tabs or front cloth)
Scene 7 : Back on Highgate Hill (As Act I Scene 2)
Scene 8 : Dick Whittington’s Dream (Full stage scene)
ACT II  
Scene 1 : The Docks of London (Full stage dockland scene)
Scene 2 : Down in the Galley (Front cloth or MS Tabs)
Scene 3 : All Hands on Deck (Full stage ship’s deck scene)
Scene 4 : [Optional] Under the Sea (MS black Tabs – UV scene)
Scene 5 : The Shores of Morocco (Front of Tabs or front cloth)
Scene 6 : The Sultan’s Palace (Full stage Palace interior scene)
Scene 7 : Tom Foolery! (Front of Tabs)
Scene 8 : Happy Homecoming (Probably as Act I Scene 1 or 8)

"…It has all the right ingredients for family fun, including a touch of slapstick and a liberal smattering of jokes that had the audience in stitches. The scenes are fast-moving and fun, so it was finale time before we knew it.”

The Bolton News

 

“...This pantomime by Alan Frayn was thoroughly enjoyed by the audience. It was an entertaining script with jokes coming fast and furious and many of them with a local flavour. A really enjoyable evening."

NODA Report

Riverside Players

"...An Alan P. Frayn pantomime, following the traditional story of Dick Whittington. It was a good script, with many a pun and double entendre, and included up-to-date references."

Cornwall Drama Association Report

St Blazey Amateur Operatic Society

“…My first Pantomime of the season, and we are off to a good start – a superb script this year (Alan Frayn Stage Right Creative Ltd) full of fun, keeping the audience happy throughout. Lots of tip-top jokes for young and old, especially in the "sewer scene”. The Dame and Idle Jack had lots of slapstick with pastry and water in the galley scene. Then up we went onto the deck where several principals performed a funny routine with mops.”

NODA Report

St Matthews Theatrical Society

"…This was the most popular panto we have done for years. One customer wrote ‘It was fantastic, fast paced, colourful and really funny!’ Another delighted family wrote ‘We were a party of three generations and all in total agreement that your Dick Whittington was one of the best panto’s we have ever seen!’ Many thanks.”

Lindley Players

 

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