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LYDYA: | Now, first of all, can we get you both a cup of coffee? |
SERGEI: | (Amazed) You’ve still got coffee in, after the revolution? |
LYDYA: | Well, kind of. |
ANUSHKA: | (Holding up a jar of something brown with no label) Coffee substitute. |
VLADIMIR: | What is it really? |
LYDYA: | Mud! |
SERGEI: | We’ll give it a try – just so long as it’s wet and warm. |
LYDYA: | Black or white? |
VLADIMIR: | (Astounded) You’re not telling us you’ve actually got some milk? |
LYDYA: | Of course! |
ANUSHKA: | (Holding up a jar of white powder) Well, whitener, anyway. |
SERGEI: | Come on – what’s that made of? |
LYDYA: | Dandruff! |
VLADIMIR: | I think we’ll take it black! |
LYDYA: | Or how about my speciality – cappuccino? |
SERGEI: | Ooh, yes please! |
LYDYA: | Coming right up … |
(LYDYA takes two cups and turns her back momentarily, upon which we hear her clearing her chest and spitting it out! The OTHER 3 nearly throw up.) | |
SERGEI: | I think we’ll pass on the coffee, thanks! |
LYDYA: | Now for something to eat. What have we got today, Anushka? |
(During the following, ANUSHKA picks up a jar or dish representing each item, then LYDYA admits to what it really is.) | |
ANUSHKA: | Pickled onions. |
LYDYA: | Sheep’s eyes, actually! … But don’t worry – they’ll see you through the day! |
ANUSHKA: | Lemon curd. |
LYDYA: | Well, ear wax! |
ANUSHKA: | Crispy bacon. |
LYDYA: | Okay – cockroaches! |
ANUSHKA: | Sultanas. |
LYDYA: | Bogies! |
ANUSHKA: | Nutella. |
LYDYA: | Squirrel poo! |
OTHER 2: | (Reacting in disgust) Err! |
LYDYA: | What do you mean? It’s got a hazelnut in every bite! |
ANUSHKA: | How about pea soup? |
VLADIMIR: | Definitely not! |
SERGEI: | I don’t fancy any of that. I’d rather have rat pie topped off with dog vomit! |
LYDYA: | Too late! That was yesterday! |
VLADIMIR: | Ooh, I just can’t resist this grated cheese over here. (He picks up some grated cheese and rams it into his mouth.) Mmm! Lovely mature Gorgonzola! |
LYDYA: | No – that’s where I was scraping the hard skin off my feet this morning! |
VLADIMIR: | I think I’m going to be sick! |
SERGEI: | Quick, have you got anything you can give him for it? |
LYDYA: | (Passing him a bucket) Yeah, take this! … Well, we don’t want to waste it – you can’t get porridge for love nor money these days! |
TSAR NICHOLAS II: | The Emperor of Russia. (Male) |
ALEXANDRA: | Wife of the Tsar, the Tsarina. (Female) |
ANASTASIA: | Young Russian Princess. (Juvenile female) |
ANUSHKA: | Anastasia after the Revolution. (Principal Girl) |
EMPRESS MARIA: | Mother of the Tsar. (Female) |
SOPHIA: | Maria’s Lady in Waiting. (Female) |
LYDYA POTSKI: | Pantomime Dame, the Tsar’s Cook. (Obviously, best played by a man) |
VLADIMIR: | The Tsar’s head Butler. (Male) |
SERGEI: | A junior royal servant. (Male) |
GRIGORI RASPUTIN: | The Tsar’s advisor, a wandering mystic who becomes the baddie of the piece. (Male) |
NOKOVA & KIKOVSKI: |
Rasputin’s side-kicks, typical panto-style comedy twosome. (Either can be male or female) |
CLOCKWORK FAIRY: | Good fairy, a music-box ballerina. (Female) |
CHAMBERS: | The Lord Chamberlain. (Male or female) |
TSARAVICH ALEXEI: | Anastasia’s younger brother. (Male) |
MARIE, TATIANA & OLGA: |
Anastasia’s older sisters (Female) |
CHORUS: | Winter Russians Imperial Ball Guests Sprites of the Forest (Good and Bad) Industrial Russian Workers / Citizens Parisians A small group of Male Chorus also play Monks |
DANCERS: | Featured in musical numbers as desired. |
ACT I | |
Prologue: | The Magical Music-box (Front cloth or front of Tabs) |
Scene 1 : | Outside the Winter Palace (Full stage palace scene) |
Scene 2 : | The Mad Monk (Half-stage scene with front cloth or MS Tabs) |
Scene 3 : | The Seeds of Discontent (As the Prologue) |
Scene 4 : | The Imperial Ball, 1918 (Full stage palace ballroom scene) |
Scene 5 : | Five Years Later (Front of Tabs) |
Scene 6 : | Lydya’s Cookhouse (Half-stage with front cloth or MS Tabs) |
Scene 7 : | Time for Change (Front of Tabs) |
Scene 8 : | The Point of No Return (Full stage woodland scene) |
ACT II | |
Scene 1 : | The New Russia, 1924 (Full stage Russian exterior scene, or as Act I Scene 1) |
Scene 2 : | A Plan Is Hatched (Front of Tabs) |
Scene 3 : | Inside the Old Palace (DS gauze, front cloth or MS Tabs) |
Scene 4 : | A Lot to Learn (Front of Tabs) |
Scene 5 : | C’est Magnifique! (Full stage Parisian scene) |
Scene 6 : | A Taste of Things to Come (Front of Tabs) |
Scene 7 : | The Paris Opera House (Full stage or half-stage scene) |
Scene 8 : | Just Rewards? (Front of Tabs) |
Scene 9 : | Dancing in the Street (As Act II Scene 5) |
Scene 10 : | Farewell! (Full stage Finale, as Act II Scene 5) |